This past week I received some news that knocked me out of my chair and right down to my knees. It was one of those moments that is the hardest for a pastor.
One of our church members, a wonderful woman who has worked hard all her life, came down with cancer last year. But she beat it back with prayer, Bible reading, courage and determination, coupled with the best medical treatment available in our area. Day after day she and her family drove to the major hospital sixty miles away for treatment. And all the while our church, and many other good Christians in the area prayed fervently.
Then we got the news that the cancer was totally gone! We rejoiced with this lady. She told her testimony in the congregation and she and we gave God all the praise and glory.
Last week we heard that the cancer had returned, in less than a year, and there were spots on her precious brain. It was a shock to us all, and as I hugged the lady and prayed with her, the tears in my eyes reflected the collective sadness of our church body.
A real trouper, the lady has mustered a positive attitude and is again in treatment for the cancer, with her dear family giving support, and the church praying daily. The dear woman is right with God and her eternal destiny is firmly placed in the hands of Jesus Christ. But we beg for her to have more time here. And. yes, we are still asking "Why?"
One outstanding feature of the book of Psalms, in the great thologian John Calvin’s estimation, is that they cover the whole range of Christian emotions and infirmities, exposing our hearts to the searching eye of our Father in heaven and calling or drawing us to self-examination. “I have been accustomed,” writes Calvin, “to call this book, I think not inappropriately, The Anatomy of all the Parts of the Soul”.
He explains the reason for this insightful title:… there is not an emotion of which any one can be conscious that is not here represented as in a mirror. Or rather, the Holy Spirit has here drawn … all the griefs, sorrows, fears, doubts, hopes, cares, perplexities, in short, all the distracting emotions with which the minds of men are wont to be agitated.
So it is that I searched the Psalmas and I came across Psalm 88 in my prayer time:
1 O LORD, the God who saves me, day and night I cry out before you.
2 May my prayer come before you; turn your ear to my cry.
3 For my soul is full of trouble and my life draws near the grave.
4 I am counted among those who go down to the pit; I am like a man without strength.
5 I am set apart with the dead, like the slain who lie in the grave,
whom you remember no more, who are cut off from your care.
6 You have put me in the lowest pit, in the darkest depths.
7 Your wrath lies heavily upon me; you have overwhelmed me with all your waves.
8 You have taken from me my closest friends and have made me repulsive to them.
I am confined and cannot escape;
9 my eyes are dim with grief. I call to you, O LORD, every day;
I spread out my hands to you.
10 Do you show your wonders to the dead? Do those who are dead rise up and praise you?
11 Is your love declared in the grave, your faithfulness in Destruction? 12 Are your wonders known in the place of darkness, or your righteous deeds in the land of oblivion?
13 But I cry to you for help, O LORD; in the morning my prayer comes before you.
14 Why, O LORD, do you reject me and hide your face from me?
15 From my youth I have been afflicted and close to death; I have suffered your terrors and am in despair.
16 Your wrath has swept over me; your terrors have destroyed me.
17 All day long they surround me like a flood; they have completely engulfed me.
18 You have taken my companions and loved ones from me; the darkness is my closest friend.
"Why me, God? It isn't fair!" Life certainly seems to be a cruel joke at times. We wonder if there is any sense to anything in those times when we feel thoroughly crushed, when we don't know if we can bear the pain any longer, when there seems to be no hope at all. And it is in these times that we are tempted to wonder if God really cares.
Psalm 88 clearly expresses the anguish of death approaching and let God know about it. Day and night he cried out to the Lord about his plight and his sense of being forsaken and alone and without escape. And what answer does he get from God? Nothing.
"Lord, why dost thou cast me off? Why dost thou hide thy face from me?" (v.14) The psalmist knows of God's reputation for working wonders and of God's steadfast love and faithfulness and saving help (vs. 10-12) but where is God now?
That the psalmist laments is understandable, but what is amazing is that he continues to appeal to God. Even in his despair, (or perhaps, because of it), the psalmist displays an extraordinary trust in God. It is a trust that holds God accountable to his promises of love and faithfulness.
We too seem to be in a situation similar to that of the psalmist. We too can justifiably complain to God. We can wonder where God is. We can ask, "Why me, God?" The psalmist does not find any answers, nor do we find any simple solutions. But do we have any grounds for such trust as the psalmist expresses? Unlike the psalmist, we stand at a point in history where we have seen God revealed in Christ. We have seen Christ forsaken on a cross. Is this any answer, or does it raise another question: "Why did Christ have to die?'
Indeed, we have no easy answers. So what do we have? The psalmist had a God in whom he could trust even in his greatest despair. We do too. O God, we need your help! May we serve you with our lives.
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