Praying for Serenity

I came across the Serenity Prayer tonight, as I was looking through some old files. Written by famed theologian and professor of Christian ethics Reinhold Niebuhr, it is a sermon in itself:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can;and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen.

Neihbuhr is said to have written the prayer on July 1, 1943 for the Union Church of Heath, Massachusetts. It is still used in Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonaymous and other Twelve-step programs. The short version that most people are familiar with goes as follows:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

This little prayer touches on common universal human experiences of life—anxiety and acceptance in the face of inevitable tragic events—fear of change and difficulties in bringing about constructive changes in self and society—the struggle to achieve serenity, courage and wisdom in all that we do or happens to us. Niebuhr’s prayer pulled it all together in a few simple sentences, which everyone could understand and relate to. It was the kind of prayer that A.A. could easily adopt and apply to the life experiences of alcoholics.

I can also see how it can be applied to my own life. In the life of pastor I see many things that I can pray about, and I try to always do it. Many of them are other people's problems, but they become mine. too, as I try to serve God and His people. Some are situations that I have inherited, things in place long before I came to the place I live and serve. Sadly, many of the things I pray about I cannot change, but I can only hope for it, and so I put the situations into God's hands. I need to rest in that act, and not try to take the weight of all the hurts and pains and problems onto my very human shoulders.

“God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change.” There are so many things we cannot change in our lives. We waste vast amounts of physical, psychic and spiritual energy with useless regrets, failed fantasies, or embittered recollections. We cannot change many of the afflictions we are born with -- we may be blind, deaf or lame -- or afflictions brought on by accidents. And our skin color and ethnic background is something we cannot change either, no matter how hard we may try. Body types, physical beauty or lack thereof, and levels of intelligence are things that resist change big time. There are other things -- the list is too long for us to go into it fully. But you can get the general truth of it all.

And certain situations seem to be like mighty walls we cannot crack. We may have loved ones sick and dying, and sadly no amount of prayer or medicine seems to make the difference we wish for. There are some things about myself I cannot change or can only change within certain very well defined limits, new year’s resolutions or not.

I can’t change—you can’t change—the mistakes in human relationships made in the past year or years of our lives. We can make amends to a degree, say we’re sorry, ask for forgiveness, forgive others, and forgive ourselves (much harder to do). But we cannot change the fact that we have been (and will be) at times less loving and caring and compassionate than we should be in following Christ. That’s the human condition. There are few saints among us, and even the saints have their flaws. We can’t change the past. What we can change is our relationship to it and our attitudes and actions stemming from it. But we need to have the courage to change the things we can change -- and, with God's help, with prayer and patience, many things can change for the better.

And that brings us to the prayerful plea for wisdom to know the difference between what we cannot change and what we can change. May God grant that to us. It is the key to serenity.